Feeding responsively
We all want to do the right thing when it comes to feeding our babies but it can feel very difficult to work out how and when to feed. Some people talk about feeding every 3 hours, some say you never wake a baby, others that you should feed on demand or to your own schedule.
So, some ground rules. First of all, it is impossible to spoil a newborn baby. If your baby is asking to be picked up then picking them up and responding to this is not going to set up bad habits but rather help them to feel safe and secure in the world outside the womb. By responding to your baby’s cues, you are laying the foundations for secure relationships for many years to come. It is also impossible to over-feed a breastfeeding baby- breastfeeding in response to feeding cues is always the right thing to do. There is a risk of over-feeding with bottles so make sure you are following paced bottle feeding!
Secondly, a newborn baby needs to feed at least 8 times in 24 hours after the first day (many will feed for more than this and that’s normal behaviour). This may not sound like much but it feels very different when doing it. In reality, this means a new baby shouldn’t go more than 3 hours from the start of the last feed to ensure they get in that minimum feed level until they are back to birth weight. If you have a sleepy baby it is worth waking them regularly.
Most babies will tell their parents they need to eat regularly with feeding cues, such as bringing their hands to their mouths, turning their heads (see the baby in the picture), opening and closing their mouths or sticking their tongues out. It is far easier to feed your baby at the early signs of hunger rather than waiting for later cues, such as crying. However, in reality we can’t all always get to our babies before they cry. Don’t beat yourself up about it! If you are struggling to get a crying baby to take a bottle or to breastfeed then give them a cuddle, put them in skin to skin contact if you’re able to and keep talking to them to reassure them that you’re there. Responding to these feeding cues is the first part of responsive feeding.
If breastfeeding, the second aspect of responsive feeding is in response to how the feeding parent is feeling. If a breast or chest feeding parent feels full and needs some relief then it is entirely appropriate to wake their baby and get some help with managing this. It is not all about the baby!
